International Women's Month Part 3: Mental health and spirituality

mental health, well being, spirituality, relationships, growth, joy, love, like, emotions,trust, heal the past, action, shame, ritual, anger, feminine, masculine, energy
March 28, 2021
Silvie Francisci

Have you ever wondered how to find a peace of your mind in this constantly busy world? And how much time during your day do you spend on your life versus on the life of others? Let me tell you there is no right or wrong proportion. You probably know that where your attention goes there your life energy flows. Mental health and spirituality is a number 3 topic of the four-part series and in this blog post I would like to share with you several things that help you stay connected to yourself and to the higher divine power that ever existed.

1.       Rituals

As Esther Perel suggests, it is important to have rituals because they bring a sense of stability into our lives. They are repetitive and in case of any doubt they serve as an anchor as well, i.e. we know that at 6 pm we have dinner and then read a book. It is in contrast to novelty which is one of the needs of our mind and stimulates it to grow. If you are looking for some practical examples or inspiration, I can recommend a book called simply “Rituals” by Natalie Macneil. My favourite ritual is paying attention to the moon cycles (full moon and new moon rituals). I wrote down all occurrences in my calendar and I am accepting the natural cycle of the moon as part of my life and reconnecting to the universe.

 2.       Balancing feminine and masculine energy

Each of us has both energies and it has nothing to do with gender, it is the proportion we use in various situations that makes us act more feminine of masculine. Being aware of them allows you to use the energy when you need it. Let’s make it simple and imagine how cave people lived thousand years ago. The socio-economic structure developed with men being hunters and women gatherers. This is a topic for a separate article but for the purpose of this blog post, masculine energy (symbol Sun and Fire) is characterised with self-confidence, strength, stability, decisiveness and logic. On the contrary, feminine energy is receptive, nurturing, empathic and intuitive as well as represented by creativity, inspiration and love for beauty (symbol Earth and Water). Balancing feminine and masculine energy will help you to live your life in harmony and happiness. How can you balance it? First of course is awareness and second is mindful action. So depending on which outcome you want to achieve, you can train yourself to use the right amount of any of these energies. You could start with conversations and test clothes as well. So if one person is annoyed then it helps the second person be calmer otherwise they can get on a negative spiral and escalate the anger even more.

 3.       Trust and believe the divine power

Universe (God or other name or source of divine power) loves you and wants the best for you – all you need to take is action (which starts with beliefs, thoughts, emotions and actions). So all the material things you want are “out there”, there is abundance of it, and your job is to first see yourself as a valuable and loveable human being, organise your life, heal the past, have vision for your life and live fully in the present moment.

 4.       Control versus surrender

I believe this a strong point especially for us women. We like to have a control over events, relationships and at work. But here is a reminder: all you can control is your thoughts (and hence actions) in the present moment. The world is going its own pace and if you have a tendency to control people think how much time and energy it costs you and how better your time can be used. What would happen if you stopped controlling things and instead started doing what you can and trust the Universe that it will do the rest for you?

 5.       Use reminders to reconnect with yourself and the world

When we talk about reconnecting with yourself, I mean being more mindful about the present moment and listening to your body, mind, heart and soul by using reminders, notifications, post-it notes with questions, practise breathing and journaling. You also want to surround yourself with people who love or like you and see the potential in you. And who does not connect with others? Even though we live in the most connected world ever, no virtual friend or robot is going to replace the real friend you can meet and have a coffee with. And it is about our hard wired needs to connect with another human being. Your body is constructed from atoms and molecules that store energy. Therefore connection with a device is never going to replace physical face to face interaction that you feel with the person next to you (it is a real human being and not a set of wires, screws and buttons). Even though we use more and more technology to communicate I don’t think real connection can be ever replaced.

 6.       Look at your past, present and future life with someone else

A lot of people are talking about decluttering the flat or house but have you ever thought about decluttering the mind? What I mean by this is to seek a professional to help you with your mental health and well being. There is only so much you can do on your own, and you need the environment and trust of the other person for processing your thoughts. Last year I had both types of sessions and I really made huge progress in my life: therapy helped me to heal my past, to forgive people as well as to deal with negative emotions like shame and anger. And with coaching I took big and necessary steps that I would not have had the courage to do on my own as well it gave me a sense of growth and focus on the present and future. For some people having therapy may sound like a “cliché” but think about it this way: sometimes we are afraid to ask a friend or family member about the things that are bothering us and so therapy gives us the opportunity to openly share and release our mind at designated time with a 3rd person. Many wounds heal once you speak about them loud, just by bringing them from the long term memory to the present moment and realising that now, 20 years later and being an adult it is not such a big deal and that we can indeed close the chapter and move on. So give yourself a gift and instead of buying material things and “consume” in general, invest into your mental health. Also therapy and coaching help you to be more mature and to live your purpose, get rid of addictions of any sort, discipline yourself and become a better human being.

7.       Get the past sorted (“finite line” technique)

This technique I have heard of by coach Michal Wawrzyniak and it can be really liberating and improve your relationships. So for example, if you have a situation that has happened in the past in the relationship (or to yourself), talk about it (or journal about it) and then promise the other person (or yourself) that you will not mention it again (you will not think about it again). The fact that you draw a “finite line” behind this issue and move on gives you more space in your mind to focus on and you are no more dwelling on the past problems, which trigger negative emotions and basically make your life miserable.

So I believe that these tips will help being more mindful and have better relationships.

We have been given our life to live it, to bring joy and service to other people so let the mental health and spirituality contribute towards that.


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