Have you ever wondered how you can have a better relationship with yourself even if you do not feel like it?
I would like to share with you briefly a concept of ”reversed Golden rule”, which states ”Treat yourself like you would treat others”. I am sure you have heard or used the original golden rule as it is one of the popular sayings “treat others like you would treat yourself”. But what if I do not know how to treat myself or how to treat myself better? What if I am still looking for it? Life changes and people change. It is true that when I treat myself well, I will treat others well too? Not exactly and not every time.
This rule is reflected in people we surround ourselves every day as we attract in our lives similar people to who we are.
What I like about the reverse Golden rule is that it comes from the place of knowledge, interest and awareness. First I am aware of how I feel, who I am and what I do and then based on this I am treating others. I am responsible for my actions because it brings to my life those people who are like me, but I start from myself. So for example if I were constantly late then more people in my life would be late, some would finish the relationship, others would not say anything and the rest would speak up. This starts with the awareness that I am late first which has an impact on my behaviour and then on my relationships. So I am aware that by not respecting myself in the first place and then I am not respecting others. And by not respecting others many would not respect me and you can see how the circle closes.
We as human beings are more likely to do more for others than for others and so by focusing on relationships with others we do better in the relationship with ourselves. The condition is that we better know who we are and what we want.
Let’s say that when you were growing up the society and family were treated with respect, trust and love and you have become like Brian Tracey said “a happy, confident and optimistic” person. But what if you did not have such an environment around you and your family or society did not nourish you enough? And so the whole life you are trying to find your way and redefine who you are and what you need and want. I think the reversed Golden rule is much more powerful as it starts from you and then with others. Setting boundaries has never been easy but if you start from yourself you will be able to set boundaries to others as well.
What are your experiences with the reversed Golden rule? Do you prefer this reversed or the original one?
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